are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
