On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
