The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
