i just wanna soil my oats bro
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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