Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
