I wanna passion pit in your ass
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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