PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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