I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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