three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
