Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
