OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
