just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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