Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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