dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
