I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
