it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
