omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
she looked like the before picture.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
