I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
