Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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