Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
