She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
