You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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