Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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