feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
