Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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