two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
