A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I wish my penis had an off switch
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
