How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
