he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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