Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just blew my weed a kiss
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
