when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
