I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
