We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
