im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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