I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
