my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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