I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
