haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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