his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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