I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
