I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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