Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
