But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I supernannyed him into submission
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
