How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
