yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
