OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
