His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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