butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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