you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
