Swine flu. Run for my life!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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