I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
